Lessons
Learned:
In December 2011, my mother was diagnosed with breast
cancer in a late stage. This turned our lives around and upside down over night,
especially my life, since my mother lives with me full time now. I have to be
honest and say that I was not thrilled about this dramatic change in my life
(becoming a caregiver to my mother, aside from caring for my two girls-one who
has special health care needs and a disability-as a single parent). As much as I
wanted to believe that her stay would be temporary, I knew it would be long
term. It is almost nine months later and my mother still lives with me. What
lessons have I learned:
1. Patience.
My mother had a stroke on December 31, 2011. After this, she required more hands
on than before; preparing her food, getting her bathed and dressed, and whatever
else that she could not do on her own. Even though she has recovered remarkably,
she still requires the same help because of issues with her left arm and some
deficits related to the stroke.
2.
Love. I knew that taking care of my mother would require more than patience. It
required unconditional love. Now, this was a biggie for me. Because I have not
shared that strong mother daughter bond that most young ladies experience.
Biblically, I had to be obedient and take care of her.
3. Kindness. When you go through something like this,
it forces you to become kind when all you want to do is scream. I am a very
private person when it comes to my space and having so many people in and out on
a daily basis has forced me to become kind when all I want is my
privacy.
4. Humility. I get applauded
all the time from coworkers or colleagues and some friends who say, I am amazed
at how well you are handling this. You are remarkable is what they say. I don't
do this to get cuddos from anyone. It is my God given responsibility.
5. Understanding. Understanding
that when things like this occur, you can either run or face it. Everyday, I
have to remind myself that the doctors were not expecting my mother to progress
or to live this long. I understand that God is in control and that Man has no
understanding when it comes to God's healing hands.
And most
importantly, I learned that I can not CONTROL how my life is going to be. I
never saw myself as my mother's caregiver. Being there for my daughter 24/7,
yes, but not for my mother. Each and every day for the past nine months, I watch
my mother fight for something that we all take for granted and that is LIFE. We
complain about our jobs, when she would jump at the chance to work again. We
complain about what we are going to eat, when at one time, she struggled to keep
soup and crackers down. We complain about our physical appearance when she
struggles to grow her hair back and prays that she can keep her breasts. Lessons
Learned is to be grateful for who you have that will take care of you under any
circumstances, to love you unconditional, and someone who will uplift your life
instead of playing games to ruin it. My lessons learned keeps me fighting for my
mother, it keeps me fighting for children's well being, it keeps me fighting to
love unconditional with my family & friends, because one day, someone will
have to do this for me.
Life,
Love, & Happiness is not to be taken for granted.
Cookie
August 8, 2012
Family Health Notes is a monthly listserv for the families of children and youth with special health care needs (CYSHCN) and their health care providers.
Inside this issue:
1) Spotlight on Child Health Issues: Health Information Technology and Medical Home
2) Mississippi at Home: Opening Doors to Community-Based Support – Aug. 22, Jackson
3) Statewide Parent Advisory Council Meeting – Aug. 23, Jackson
4) The Back to School Basics of IDEA – Aug. 25, Biloxi
5) Mississippi CAN Workshops – Sept. 5–Oct. 2
6) TLC - Connecting People with Disabilities to Sports, Recreation in South Mississippi
7) Childhood Obesity
1) Spotlight on Child Health Issues: Health Information Technology and Medical Home
Produced by the National Center for Medical Home Implementation (NCMHI), this electronic publication provides medical home resources for children, youth and families. For more information, visit http://www.magnetmail.net/actions/email_web_version.cfm?recipient_id=639194604&message_id=2147647&user_id=AAPorg&group_id=471660&jobid=10798186
2) Mississippi at Home: Opening Doors to Community-Based Support – Aug. 22, Jackson
Mississippi at Home is a strategic effort by the Mississippi Division of Medicaid to bring balance to its long-term care system by increasing access to home- and community-based services. A kickoff meeting will be held Aug., 22, from 9 a.m. until 12 p.m. at the War Memorial Building at 120 South State Street in Jackson. To attend, RSVP to Molly Parker, project director, at molly.parker@medicaid.ms.gov or 601.359.9524 by Aug. 15.
3) Statewide Parent Advisory Council Meeting – Aug. 23, Jackson
The Statewide Parent Advisory Council of the MS State Department of Health’s Children’s Medical Program will meet on Aug. 23, from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. in the Children’s Medical Program conference room on the third floor of the Jackson Medical Mall at 350 Woodrow Wilson Boulevard in Jackson. Leadership training will be conducted by Leslie Junkin of the Mississippi Parent Training and Information Center during the meeting. All families of and professionals working with children and youth with special health care needs are welcome to attend. For more information, call Jackie Washington at 1.888.313.1718 or email her at JacquelineWashingto@msdh.state.ms.us .
4) The Back to School Basics of IDEA – Aug. 25, Biloxi
Plan to attend Back to School Basic of IDEA Special Education Rights for Parents and Families on Sat., Aug. 25, from 2 to 4 p.m. at the LIFE office at 2030 Pass Road, Suite C, in Biloxi. Presented by LIFE of MS and MSPTI, this is a no-cost training. Spanish translation will be provided, and a sign language interpreter will be present. Refreshments will be served. For more information, email Cindy Singletary at csingletary.life@gmail.com or call her at 228.388.2401.
5) Mississippi CAN Beneficiary and Provider Workshops – Sept. 4 – Oct. 2
The Division of Medicaid, Coordinated Care, in conjunction with Magnolia Health Plan and UnitedHealthcare, will conduct separate Mississippi CAN workshops for Medicaid for beneficiaries and for providers from Sept. 4 through Oct. 2, across the state. Beneficiary workshops will begin Sept. 4 and will be held in 28 cities. Access a meeting schedule online at http://www.magnoliahealthplan.com/files/2012/08/Member-Workshop-Flyer.pdf . To save your space at a meeting, call 1-800-884-3222.
Provider workshops will begin Sept. 5, and will be held in 12 locations. A meeting schedule is available online at http://www.magnoliahealthplan.com/files/2011/04/Provider-Flyer-final-completed-8-1-12-new-format.pdf . Providers can RSVP to Amy Burns at 601.206.3028 or amy.burns@xerox.com .
6) TLC - Connecting People with Disabilities to Sports, Recreation in South Mississippi
The Technology Learning Center (TLC) at Southern Miss Gulf Coast is launching “Project Slam Dunk: Connecting People with Sports” to give people with disabilities who live in remote areas of south Mississippi the opportunity to participate in recreational activities. TLC is promoting the adapted sports and recreational equipment they have available, as well as recruiting members to join the Southern Miss Golden Eagles wheelchair basketball team for the upcoming 2012-2013 season. For more information about the Southern Miss Technology Learning Center and its programs, call Ashley Flowers at 228-214-3400 or email her at Ashley.N.Ross@usm.edu .
7) Childhood Obesity
Over the past few decades, changes to our communities, neighborhoods and schools have made it difficult for children to eat a healthy diet and be active. Today, many families don't have access to affordable healthy foods or safe places for their kids to walk, bike and play. And in schools across the country, junk food and sugary drinks are widely available, while physical education has been squeezed out of the curriculum. For more information, visit http://www.rwjf.org/healthpolicy/childhoodobesity/index.jsp
August 6, 2012
Special Edition - Disability Partners Community Forums
Do you or a family member have a disability? Participate in this unique opportunity to have your voice heard by three different disability agencies. We want to know your needs, thoughts, and opinions —any age, any issue, any disability. Information and resources will be available.
Presented by the DD partner agencies—Disability Rights Mississippi, the Mississippi Council on Developmental Disabilities, and The University of Southern Mississippi Institute for Disability Studies—these forums are being held for the purpose of hearing from communities and meeting people face to face as we demonstrate a united stance on our goals and hope for the lives of individuals with disabilities in the state of Mississippi. A first session was held in Tunica on Aug. 2. Remaining sessions are:
MERIDIAN
August 9
1:30pm - 3:30pm
East MS Electric Power Assn. Auditorium
2128 Hwy. 39 North
NATCHEZ
August 15
1:30pm - 3:30pm
Copiah-Lincoln Community College Activity Room (next to cafeteria)
11 Co-Lin Circle
If you need more information, need transportation assistance, or have an accommodation request call 1-800-772-4057. Sign language interpreters will be present at each event. Each venue is accessible and has plenty of parking. These are free community events with snacks and beverages offered. Informational materials will be provided by each agency.
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