Lessons
Learned:
In December 2011, my mother was diagnosed with breast
cancer in a late stage. This turned our lives around and upside down over night,
especially my life, since my mother lives with me full time now. I have to be
honest and say that I was not thrilled about this dramatic change in my life
(becoming a caregiver to my mother, aside from caring for my two girls-one who
has special health care needs and a disability-as a single parent). As much as I
wanted to believe that her stay would be temporary, I knew it would be long
term. It is almost nine months later and my mother still lives with me. What
lessons have I learned:
1. Patience.
My mother had a stroke on December 31, 2011. After this, she required more hands
on than before; preparing her food, getting her bathed and dressed, and whatever
else that she could not do on her own. Even though she has recovered remarkably,
she still requires the same help because of issues with her left arm and some
deficits related to the stroke.
2.
Love. I knew that taking care of my mother would require more than patience. It
required unconditional love. Now, this was a biggie for me. Because I have not
shared that strong mother daughter bond that most young ladies experience.
Biblically, I had to be obedient and take care of her.
3. Kindness. When you go through something like this,
it forces you to become kind when all you want to do is scream. I am a very
private person when it comes to my space and having so many people in and out on
a daily basis has forced me to become kind when all I want is my
privacy.
4. Humility. I get applauded
all the time from coworkers or colleagues and some friends who say, I am amazed
at how well you are handling this. You are remarkable is what they say. I don't
do this to get cuddos from anyone. It is my God given responsibility.
5. Understanding. Understanding
that when things like this occur, you can either run or face it. Everyday, I
have to remind myself that the doctors were not expecting my mother to progress
or to live this long. I understand that God is in control and that Man has no
understanding when it comes to God's healing hands.
And most
importantly, I learned that I can not CONTROL how my life is going to be. I
never saw myself as my mother's caregiver. Being there for my daughter 24/7,
yes, but not for my mother. Each and every day for the past nine months, I watch
my mother fight for something that we all take for granted and that is LIFE. We
complain about our jobs, when she would jump at the chance to work again. We
complain about what we are going to eat, when at one time, she struggled to keep
soup and crackers down. We complain about our physical appearance when she
struggles to grow her hair back and prays that she can keep her breasts. Lessons
Learned is to be grateful for who you have that will take care of you under any
circumstances, to love you unconditional, and someone who will uplift your life
instead of playing games to ruin it. My lessons learned keeps me fighting for my
mother, it keeps me fighting for children's well being, it keeps me fighting to
love unconditional with my family & friends, because one day, someone will
have to do this for me.
Life,
Love, & Happiness is not to be taken for granted.
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